In the Beginning God Created Broccoli?

Here’s a spin on creation that is just too funny not to share…

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth.  He populated the Earth and caused it to produce broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes” and Woman said, “As long as you’re at it add sprinkles.”  They gained 10 pounds, and Satan smiled.

God created the yogurt so that Woman might keep the figure Man found so fair.  But Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.  Then Woman went from a size 6 to a size 14. So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.   And Man and Woman unfastened their belts.

God then said, “I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fired chicken, fish and chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter.  Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so His children might lose those extra pounds.  And Satan gave them cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.  Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained more pounds.

God then gave them lean beef so that they might consume fewer calories and still satisfy their appetite.   So Satan created McDonald”s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then he asked, “Do you want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes!” And Satan said, “It is good.”  Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created Obamacare.